So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
