What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
It's rum buckets o'clock
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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