i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
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