I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
