I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
