Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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