why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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