Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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