shes about as inviting as chlamydia
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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