I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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