with your own penis?
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Is Oprah even human
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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