i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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