how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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