he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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