how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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