There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
