I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Randomize