my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
