Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
