wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
