then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
My liver just had a heart attack.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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