Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
