He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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