im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
