you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
the gays at disneyland are vicious
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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