Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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