I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
soo... how was my night?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
