Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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