Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Randomize
