btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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