We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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