I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Sorry about my life...
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
