Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
