Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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