Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
He felt like a one man threesome
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
