Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
