I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
