he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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