Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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