the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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