I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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