he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
