Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
