I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
