so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
