her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
