he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
