Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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