Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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