Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(640): View more from

I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease

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(509): View more from Washington

I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.

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(630): View more from Illinois

I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips

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(239): View more from Florida

Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet

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(415): View more from California

if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?

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(408): View more from California

He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.

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(530): View more from California

Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories

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(503): View more from Oregon

His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?

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