to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
