u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
