just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
We have so much sex to catch up on
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
