You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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