There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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