Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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