I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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