Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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