I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Found the puke drawer
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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