My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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