You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
